


hopes peak institution for mental, physical and emotional needs

by bumblebee_on_the_scene



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, i swear the story has a plot other than angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumblebee_on_the_scene/pseuds/bumblebee_on_the_scene
Summary: gundham tanaka is taken to hopes peak against his will due to his eating disorder. he meets a lively boy by the name kazuichi. together, they learn more and more about each other, slowly turning from strangers into friends and maybe a bit more.
Relationships: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham, Tanaka Gundham/Soda Kazuichi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 90





	hopes peak institution for mental, physical and emotional needs

_“Please.. just one bite..”,_

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his mothers voice had such a calm, nurturing tone, even as it was pleading.

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gundham tanaka had kept his eyes on their bamboo wood floor, avoiding looking at his mother and the plate full of food in front of him. scents of yakitori and miso soup that sat in front of him at the dinner made his stomach growl, making him frown. he could not give in to his weak, human vessel.

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_“gundham.. please my son. you make me so sad when you do not eat…”_

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gundham looked up. his mother sat across from him, lines of worry and tiredness decorated her face. her once voluminous, raven black hair now hung limp around her face, traces of grey speckled throughout her coarse hair. gundham along with his mother had been cursed by the gods with what mortals called _poliosis_. unnatural patches of white hair decorating both of their heads, hers being at the fronter part of her hair. her skin held a fairness to it, yet gave into the paleness that gundham himself had come to. her face was quite beautiful for someone of her age. if it had not been for the years and years of abuse, constant worry and just life itself, she would’ve looked ten years younger. her dark eyes held so much. years of secrets swam through her irises and dared not escape from her eyes. life had done a number on kokoro tanaka, and yet through the pain of it all, gundham saw the beauty in his mothers resilience, which made him all the more guilty.

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gundham dared not look his mother in her eyes. “i do not wish to eat, mother,” he said, his voice gruff, yet barely audible. “i do not require any food at the moment, i am simply not hungry.” gundhams stomach growled once more, exposing his lie. kokoro let out a sob and buried her head in her hands. 

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_“what do i have to do my precious? what must i do to get you to eat?”_

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gundham hung his head down in shame. shame that he had upset his dear mother like this. he just couldnt bring himself to eat it. to contaminate his body… he just couldnt do it. 

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“mother,” gundham spoke up. “you require rest. please, forget this and let me guide you to bed.” gundham slid off the dining room chair and went to his mother, putting a soft hand on her back as he guided her up from the chair with his other hand in hers. tears streamed down her now puffy, red eyes. they looked distant and dead. gundham gave his dear mother a kiss on the top of her head as he guided her to her bedroom, careful to go slowly, as she suffered from bodily pains in the past months. he led her to her bed, laid her down and covered her with many blankets to keep her warm in the night. as he was finished tucking her in, he sat near the edge of the bed next to her. 

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“please, i beg of you mother. do not worry about me. it pains me to see you so upset. i swear on the seven circles of hell that i am more than satisfactory. i do not require earthly nutrients to be well.” gundham whispered to her as he planted another soft kiss on her head. he stroked her hair and studied her face, trying to make out her exact feelings in the dim-lit room. koroko shuddered out a shaky sigh and simply closed her eyes.

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_“you know you are my little angel, right? i will never not worry for you, my sweet boy..”_

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a knife plunged into gundhams heart. he sighed and kept stroking her hair. 

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“as you are to me.” he grumbled. he loved his mother so dearly that it made him falter in his consumption beliefs on occasion. “rest well mother, for the lands of onerios await for your slumber. dream the dreams of simplicity and stability. i will awake you in the morning a couple chimes past sunrise.” he assured, squeezing her hand as he got up from her bedside. she nodded silently and squeezed his hand back. 

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_“i love you, my sweet boy.”_

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gundham was at the bedroom door, getting ready to close the door before he stopped and poked his head through one last time. “i love you too, mother.”

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with that, he shut the door quietly and made his way back to the dining room to clean up. it wasnt until that moment that gundham had realized how hungry he really was. his stomach cramped painfully as he tidied up, picking up his own plate with the untouched food. his stomach growled more ferocious than before, a pang of unbearable hunger striking at the heart of his stomach, making him stumble a little. he focused on his breathing for a bit, grabbing on to the kitchen counter for support, dots of white flashing in the peripherals of his vision. it had been a complete four days since he had eaten last. thinking about this feat stung pride in his heart. maybe a bite or two of yakitori wouldnt hurt…

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his mind ran with that.

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in an instant, gundham began hastily eating the bits of yakitori from off the stick. the immaculate flavors exploded on his tastebuds, making him shake. he stood there for a while, savoring the flavors. it wasnt before long that reality began to settle in, making him start to think, which led to panic. he had consumed.

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gundham bolted to his room, making a beeline to his washroom. in no time was he on his knees in front of his toilet. it was routine from this point.

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sticking two fingers down his throat, he began to dry heave, convincing his mind and body that he had ingested some foreign contaminant. it was no more than a couple of seconds before gundham vomited. the food along with globs of blood appeared in the toilet. orbs of sweat had made an appearance on his face. he was paler than usual. his vision went in and out of focus. he could not feel his own vessel, just the rapid, strong beating of his heart. his breathing was shallow, which made him lightheaded. for he had done this ritual multiple times, yet could never quite get used to it. 

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he sat there for a second, regaining whatever strength he had before disposing of the contents in the bowl. he got up, and decided to continue cleaning the dining room before resting his mind for the night.

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as he washed his hands and his teeth, gundham looked at himself in the mirror.

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he was a very unusual looking boy of his age. though his unholy age was beyond the years of this mortal realm, his earthly age was about eighteen. his poliosis black and white hair flopped on to one side of his face, making it look disheveled on purpose. something the dames of his age would find highly attractive, even if he wouldnt admit it. his heterochromic red and grey eyes made his face unique. a grey lightning bolt tattoo adorned his left eye, something he had gotten quite recent to cover up a real scar that was left behind by that _devil_ that had lived with him and his mother a while back. his face was pale and gaunt, the jawline being the most prominent characteristic. he knew how unusual he looked. everything about him screamed abnormal and different. gundham despised it. it was quite amusing to him, though. someone as unworthy and foul as himself should be cursed with the seal of abnormality. a festering want to just be “normal” bit at him constantly. he hated it. he hated himself. he just wanted to be respected by his peers. to be respected by the divine lords and masters of the seven realms. to be respected by his mother. how could he be good enough for them??

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he had been staring at himself in his mirror for too long. the lights that lit his washroom became a little too blinding, painting the edges of his vision with a heavenly light that was just too much. he had become an inconsistent blob of sharp shapes and monochrome colors in the reflective surface. he tried to focus on a singular part of himself but his eyes failed to pinpoint anything. 

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who the hell was he?

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gundham could feel a throbbing of blood in his left arm which had been covered by bandages.

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his arm flared in temperature.

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he felt an itch to unravel the dirty, loose bonds. 

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let the blood free.

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a sacrifice to the underworld.

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it only took a moment.

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a moment.

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just one cut. 

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gundhams head buzzed. blinking rapidly, he snapped himself out of it. he stumbled back from the mirror, his own reflection staring back at him. it wasnt before long that his shirt was off. it was a nightly ritual to criticize his body and flesh. 

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he had a broad chest. something he had never really been ashamed of. his arms seemed to be paler in the light, making gundham disgusted. he traced over his chest and arms with his eyes until he reached his midsection. his heart lurched in his throat.

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unbelievably _repulsive_.

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_too... unfit.._ he thought to himself

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his torso was molded in such an un-admirable way. a pocket of fat here. excess flesh there. he could never get rid of them. no matter how hard he tried. he could never be lean enough. never. 

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gundham cast his eyes away from the mirror. he had had enough of himself. how putrid. how ugly. a body only a mother could love.

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he sighed and turned off the washroom lights before exiting the bathroom. he made his way back to the dining room to finish tidying up before he returned back to his room and practically fell onto his bed for the night. 

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as he lay there-his four henchmen of darkness-squeaked softly, indicating that they had indeed fallen asleep. gundham listened to them, staring at his moonlit soaked ceiling. he closed his eyes. soon it would be morning.

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**Author's Note:**

> hi! corona is ruining my life so i write out my pain haha..
> 
> tell me if you enjoy and if you want more chapters! i got this idea from something i read on either here or on fanfic.net. if this prompt sounds familiar just lmk and i can give credit! anyways, i hoped you guys liked. hopefully i did gundham justice in writing him :')


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